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Ian Oliver’s Big Book of Songs Wot I Know The Words To. Honest:
All the lyrics to all the songs Ollie (sic) ever got right, in one definitive volume. Consists of 400 completely blank pages, each one made from low-quality toilet paper. Ideal for wiping your arse on. It’s just about all it’s fucking good for.

Singing in Pants for Dummies, by Ian Oliver:
Ollie’s (sic) idea for an “easy-to-follow guide for any future/prospective Pants vocalist(s)” ended up as a rambling, meaningless and almost unintelligible soup of random meanderings and scribbles. Originally written in crayon and something that might have been snot, it was painfully transcribed into English by Fal over a period of three years. The end result is this. A fucking waste of time all round.

We’ve decided to bundle these two epic tomes together in a blatantly transparent attempt at shifting them quickly. We’ve got boxes of the fucking things lying about everywhere…

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Two books by former Pants vocalist Ollie (sic). They’re fucking rubbish. But don’t take our word for it. Buy them and find out for yourself!

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Additional information

Weight 43 lbs
Smell

Faintly of wee.